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Last Updated: Dec 31st, 2009 - 01:49:28 |
The Lighter Side
Left all atwitter over Cheney's itchy trigger finger
By Daniel Patrick
Welch
Of course, most of
you already know I�ve never been the vice president�s biggest fan. I�ve often
confused him with Lon Chaney, and yes, I�ve had him in my sights before . . . er,
so to speak. But I find it unconscionable that the left wing punditocracy is
having such unearned fun over Cheney�s unfortunate hunting accident. I mean who
is the victim here? The vice president, who was deprived of the chance to
become a marksman through proper training in Vietnam just because he had other
priorities or some wealthy Texan (a conservative and a lawyer -- hello!)
who had the bad sense to go on a hunting trip with ol� Duck! Cheney?
Feb 13, 2006, 22:05
The Lighter Side
Beware Osama bin Saddam Hugo Chavez
By Mark Drolette
I read a headline the other day that was enough
to make me spit out my early-morning coffee. Or would�ve been, certainly, had I
read it in the early morning and been drinking coffee. I actually read it in
the afternoon and wasn�t drinking anything and even if I had been, it wouldn�t
have been coffee. Espresso, maybe, but not coffee. But I wasn�t even drinking
espresso.
Feb 8, 2006, 16:23
The Lighter Side
Fear, the future & the other F-word
By Bernard Weiner
WASHINGTON -- President George W. Bush today applauded
the decision by the House of Representatives and the Senate to disband.
Jan 11, 2006, 02:01
The Lighter Side
Advice for Bush
By Joel S. Hirschhorn
Dear President Bush, as a staunch conservative (I will
present my credentials later), accept my congratulations on the Iraq elections.
Please consider these ideas for moving forward with your democracy-building
efforts in Iraq that sadly less than a majority of the 31 percent of eligible
voters that re[s]elected you president now support:
Dec 31, 2005, 00:20
The Lighter Side
Yes, we're a peaceful nation -- and chimps fly (carrier landings excepted)
By Mark Drolette
I wish The Universe would send me a statement
showing my negative karma balance. I must have been pretty awful in a previous
life considering the seeming penance I occasionally still pay in this one.
Dec 8, 2005, 00:28
The Lighter Side
Great Iraq-newspapergate work, Lincoln Group
By Robert Cohen
Here's the email I
sent Friday to info@lincolngroup.com,
the Washington, DC-based info- and psyops Pentagon contractor that was reported
by The New York Times earlier this week to be responsible for the bribing of
Iraqi newspapers in order to plant pro-occupation articles in their news
coverage.
Dec 5, 2005, 00:12
The Lighter Side
The morally-challenged right wing
By Tony Zurlo
Here's a political riddle: Our side understands and
practices "it," the opposition has no clue. But because the
Republicans claimed a monopoly on "it," moderate and conservative
Americans cast their vote in 2004 to keep Republicans in office. The voting
public thought that elephants were better at "it" than donkeys. So
what is "it"?
Nov 25, 2005, 15:02
The Lighter Side
Thanksgiving -- holidays on the taxes of evil
By Julie Webb-Pullman
Thanksgiving is
almost upon us, when Americans contemplate their previous year's good fortune,
and begin planning for their 'holiday season.' Knowing how much they have on
their plate at this time of year, poor things, I thought I might lighten their
load a little, and suggest some alluring destinations to make this a most
memorable vacation. The biggest temptation of these hot destinations is that
they are already paid for -- courtesy of the US taxpayer!
Nov 23, 2005, 21:10
The Lighter Side
Ask the HMO Physician
By Frank Fuller
Dear Dr. Bill, Whenever I think of your family company HCA and
its stock, I hyperventilate. Sometimes I get faint. I bet lots of stockholders
do, too. We're all left holding the bag while you and your family got out. Last
time I thought about it, I hyperventilated so hard I fell over and broke my
arm. My HMO won't pay for any treatment because it says I caused it by thinking
about things I shouldn't think about, and if they paid for me they'd have to
pay for everyone who made bad choices. The told me to watch Good Morning
America more often or think about Jlo when I'm feeling a little anxious. What
should I do? Sincerely, Broken in Boise
Nov 17, 2005, 19:57
The Lighter Side
What the hell is ethics?
By Tony Zurlo
Recently I intercepted a top secret memo that was
circulated to White House staff members about attending classes on ethics. So
that readers can draw their own conclusions, the memo appears in its entirety.
Nov 7, 2005, 00:25
The Lighter Side
Satire? Or maybe not
By Adam Blakeley
Dear Leader:
In
response to yesterday's announcement by Ms. Miers, I am writing this letter to put
my name in the hat to be your next nominee for Justice of the Supreme Court of
the United States. By way of copying this letter to my current boss, I hereby
resign my current position of paralegal in order to devote my energies
full-time to preparing for my confirmation hearings.
Oct 28, 2005, 14:30
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