Here's the email I
sent Friday to firstname.lastname@example.org,
the Washington, DC-based info- and psyops Pentagon contractor that was reported
by The New York Times earlier this week to be responsible for the bribing of
Iraqi newspapers in order to plant pro-occupation articles in their news
Dear Good People at
sounds like you're doing marvelous work in Iraq. Don't let the liberal,
Bush-and America- hating news media get you down. I hope you profit from this
war to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars. You deserve it! This is US
taxpayers money well spent and don't let the traitors tell you otherwise.
That's what war and
struggle is all about anyway -- rewards for the elect. These terrorists can't
win if we deluge Iraq with enough good news and positive PR. These Arabs aren't
very smart anyhow. We should continue destroying their country and wipe out the
Sunni population altogether if they continue to resist.
With the good
people at Lincoln providing them with positive, uplifting news in Iraqi papers
and electronic media they won't know what to believe even as we level entire
cities, hold thousands in torture centers and blast them with chemical weapons.
What's a couple of hundred thousand Iraqi lives worth anyway?
And if we sacrifice
the lives of thousands of American soldiers in this valiant effort, wounding
tens of thousands of others, it's well worth it. After all, 600,000 were killed
in the Civil War and several hundred thousand GI's in World War Two. We're not
nearly there yet, and there's plenty more American cannonfodder (um, I mean
youth) to replenish the ranks, and many, many more contractors who would like
to make a killing without necessarily being killed. They're giving their lives
for a noble cause -- democracy, freedom and conspicuous consumption.
The US has a right
and duty to impart democracy and freedom to these "untermenschen." If
it's at the barrel of a gun so be it. They should be grateful. They have no
right to their oil, natural resources, let alone their archaeological treasures
and antiquities which really are an American birthright. We got rid of the
dictator and now we have a right to slice up the country and install whatever
government or governments we like, so long as it has the appearance of
legitimacy in democratic elections just like we have in the good, (Dieb)old
Thank God there's
good people out there like you guys doing God's work. I pray that we'll prevail
against the forces of darkness and terror and Islamic radicalism, and drag
these ignorant towel heads and the rest of the globe into the glorious
twenty-first century so full of opportunity and which God has promised to
America the beautiful. Oh yeah, and we'll be safer here at home too!
Thanks for all your
good work and I hope you keep it up.
P.S. Are there any
jobs available for good publicists in Iraq?
Robert Cohen is a San Francisco
area-based freelance writer and fundraiser/activist for peace and progressive