The international banking firm of Soros, Tsuris & Soros
has joined with Goldman, Ponzi & Sachs in announcing plans to finance a one
hundred-fifty trillion dollar ($150,000,000,000,000) loan to the USA, made
possible through a complex arrangement involving OPEC, the Bulgarian Central
Bank, Cosa Nostra, the Colombian Drug Cartel, Albania, the Vatican Zionist
Minion, and the Little Sisters of the Poor.
The globally secured financial giant, long run by
mathematical geniuses from the top secret HPOIIOICNUTOH (High Priests of
International Investing of Intriguing Complexity Not Understandable to Ordinary
Humans) expect to raise this historic amount via the sale of still to be
created world government backed and guaranteed bonds, drawn on faith, hope and
a complete and total lack of charity, in keeping with the constraints of harsh
reality and profit seeking.
�Though there are neither bonds nor investors at the
moment,� said firm spokesperson Bernardo Batista de Rothschild, �we know that
the incredibly high interest rates we will offer -- 30-35 percent -- assure
that very soon there will be many rushing to our doors, their brokers, our
banks, their keyboards, or other text devices, with thumbs, checkbooks, credit
cards, and promissory notes at the ready.�
The American stock market rose to its highest level in 200
years at this news, while unemployment dropped from its previous high of 44
percent to its lowest point in months: 39 percent.
�Things are finally looking up,� said President Palin, �and
our long recession may finally be over. Again.�
New court assures
continuity with old court
The Senate overwhelmingly approved the Supreme Court�s first
autistic, lesbian, Arab American, atheist member, GloriaGus Fatima AntiCristo,
who will join recently appointed Chief Justice Glitzy Morales, the online
gossip celebrity and nation�s first English speaking illegal immigrant on the
court. �We are close to reaching the American dream on this court, with
servants for minority capital coming from representatives of the great majority
of our people, all divided into identity and ethnic groups but united in their
dedication to maintain the system of identity and ethnic groups united in
support of finance capital� said court spokesperson and former Mafia lawyer,
Vito Nunzio Lieberman Chan, who spoke, as usual, through an interpreter.
New coalition of
Truthers, Birthers, Frothers and Mirthers
A new group uniting previously disparate forces promises to
introduce a poli-psych-eco-giggle factor to American politics which has been
sorely lacking since the Gerald Ford regime, previously honored as the most
hysterical but harmless administration in U.S. history. The group, spanning a
host of controversial issues, put out a press release on its forming. What
follows are only some major points in a 2,457 page document.
Truthers:
New Expose Reveals Truth About 911: X-Files Group Suspected
Cigarette Man, other Mysterious White Guys and Area 51
captives implicated in intricate plot involving State Department, DMV,
Starbucks, Brittany Spears, the Illuminati, and some Jews . . .
Birthers:
Obama secretly born on Mars in test program to create
universal slavery of poor white market investors,
He came here on space ship piloted by Fidel Castro as part
of plot formed by an interplanetary cabal to change earth-USA into slave colony
for the universe run by illegal Mexican immigrant Jews . . .
Frothers:
Ex-inmates of maximum security mental institutions secretly
running United Nations, United States, United Airlines and United Fruit, duping
public, media, markets, private sector, athletes, TV stars and stamp collectors
into believing there is a reality, advising one and all to watch channel zero
when it is off the air to see the real state of the world.
Mirthers:
Urge all to follow advice of Truthers, Birthers, Frothers,
try not to think too much, and have a nice day.
Iran! global menace!
still! Beware Iran! hurry and beware!
New findings indicate Iran working on secret weapon powerful
enough to destroy entire planet, especially Israel!
Researchers from Israel�s world famous think tank, Material
Reality is an Oxymoron, announced results of their intensive two-week study of
Iran�s secret plans to exterminate all Jews and possibly the rest of humanity,
except for Mecca and a Starbucks in Tehran.
At a press conference which introduced the results of the
incredibly efficient and widely supported U.S. financed study, an Israel spokesperson
said, �We firmly believe in the results of our painstaking study, so why
shouldn�t you?
�Unless you�re an anti-Semite?
�Are you?
�ARE YOU?�
stay tuned . . .
Copyright � 2009 Frank Scott. All rights reserved.
Frank Scott writes political commentary which
appears in the Coastal Post, The Independent Monitor and on his shared blog at legalienate.blogspot.com.
