The State of the Union will be a little different this year.
Thanks to a last-minute switch, the annual address will be presented by Lloyd
Blankfein, CEO and chairman of Goldman Sachs, known henceforth as CEO of
While a final text is not yet released, insiders suggest
that CEO Blankfein will declare the state of the union excellent, and announce
significant bonuses for five of nine Supreme Court Justices.
In a departure from tradition, senators and representatives
will be charged for seating in the hall this year but several prominent seats
will be put aside for lobbyists for the Pharmaceutical Research and
Manufacturers of America (PhRMA), the industry trade group America�s Health
Insurance Plans (AHIP) and drug companies Eli Lilly, Pfizer and Amgen.
According to insider accounts, those individuals will be
recognized for the $144 million dollar investment they made in the democratic
system in 2009. Other honored guests likely to be recognized for their
participation in the process are said to include Exxon Mobil, Xe (formerly
known as Blackwater) and Chevron.
CEO Blankfein is expected to declare his presence at the podium
historic. �The framers of our Constitution were always very clear that the
right to free speech belonged only to those who could pay for it. 2010 marks
the culmination of the process by which corporations are recognized as full and
�Forty years on, the dream of Dr. King has finally been
recognized. Corporations can finally be seen for what they are, endowed with
full personhood, along with accompanying rights to life liberty and pursuit of
Blankfein�s comments as currently released make no mention
Barack Obama, asked for his response, said he was sure that
he and Lloyd Blankfein would come to an agreement soon about the relocation of
the Oval Office from the White House to Wall Street.�This is no time to
polarize and divide the American people,� said the former president.
Commented his chief of staff Rahm Emanuel: �It�s time our
democracy was handed over to corporations, who have the expertise to know how
to use it.�
Said consumer advocate Ralph Nader, now hosting a late night
comedy show: �Let �em have our Constitution, we weren�t using it.�
The F Word is a regular
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