Online Journal
Front Page 
 
 Donate
 
 Submissions
 
 Announcements
 
 NewsLinks
 
 Special Reports
 
 News Media
 
 Elections & Voting
 
 Health
 
 Religion
 
 Social Security
 
 Analysis
 
 Commentary
 
 Editors' Blog
 
 Reclaiming America
 
 The Splendid Failure of Occupation
 
 The Lighter Side
 
 Reviews
 
 The Mailbag
 
 Online Journal Stores
 Official Merchandise
 Amazon.com
 
 Links
 
 Join Mailing List
Search

The Lighter Side Last Updated: Feb 27th, 2008 - 00:41:47


Homegrown terrorism: Keeping your eye on others isn�t sneaky -- it�s patriotic!
By Mark Drolette
Online Journal Contributing Writer


Feb 27, 2008, 00:39

Email this article
 Printer friendly page

Well, it�s about time.

Sometime in the near future, the Senate is expected to pass the long-needed �Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act� (VRHTPA). Happily, the bill breezed through the House on a 404-06 vote and, once it clears Congress� upper chamber, will be signed into law by our brave president. (No, not Dick Cheney; the other guy.)

Vital to national security, VRHTPA will help eliminate terrorism from fomenting here in our hollowed homeland. How? By stopping domestic evildoers right where terrorism begins: in the mind.

Predictably, rubber-spined liberals will cry this is George Orwell�s �thought-crime� come true. Come on! Alarmist thinking like this is dangerous. Truth be told, it�s downright criminal.

Please, dear reader: Ignore those who hysterically insist the terrorism threat to America is grossly overblown, that it�s a cynical ploy by the military-industrial/energy/corporate media complex that truly runs our government to induce tattletale paranoia. Then?

Turn those suspicious bastards in.

Evocative of the days of super-patriot Joe McCarthy, VRHTPA provides America with an indispensable resource: a national investigating commission. (Sure, Joe ruined lives needlessly and died in disgrace but revisionist namby-pambies gloss over the effectiveness of infusing the citizenry with knee-shaking fear. Remember: a jumpy nation is a talkative nation.) This commission is authorized to gather data about domestic terrorist threats however it sees fit, including by scouring the country, left and right.

The left is right where it should start, too, beginning with those six representatives who voted �no.� Sorry, but this is no time for elitist politicians and their anti-American independent thinking.

We�ve known since 9/11, 9/11, 9/11 (my best Rudy Giuliani impersonation) that anyone could be a terrorist, demanding our ever-watchfulness. Take my neighbor (especially if you�re from Homeland Security; leave the reward under the �Welcome: You�re Under Surveillance� mat). I happen to know that Tim -- I mean, �Abdul� -- reads Howard Zinn and, most disturbing, watches Keith Olbermann, who�s particularly insidious the way he brainwashes viewers with facts. As soon as that commission establishes a hotline for snitches, er, citizens, Abdul is toast, and then maybe that deadbeat�ll think twice before stiffing me for another 20 bucks (not that that, you know, has anything to do with anything).

Chicken little leftists also wail that VRHTPA assaults free speech, asserting it�s so broadly written it will stifle much-needed political debate for fear of being thrown into a Halliburton-constructed hoosegow. Hmph! You decide: VRHTPA defines �violent radicalization� as �the process of adopting or promoting an extremist belief system for the purpose of facilitating ideologically based violence to advance political, religious, or social change.�

Really, now: how much clearer could it be?

I, too, believe in First Amendment rights, even for those whose stupid views I respectfully disagree with, but, jeez, can�t they shut up about it already? These ingrates don�t care that by using the civil liberties our brave soldiers and uncounted mercenaries are killing thousands in Iraq to protect, they�re playing right into the terrorists� hands, the very ones who hate us for the freedoms we used to have.

Look, until the never-ending war on terrorism ends, it�s every American�s constitutional duty to unequivocally support our president�s policies, no matter how hare-brained. To nitpickers who note the Constitution actually empowers Americans to do the opposite -- i.e., keep a tireless collective eye on their government -- I say: Who cares? Anymore, we can�t afford to be hamstrung by a bunch of laws, especially ones that were, what, written years ago by some dead guys? (Although, in fairness, they were alive at the time, I think.)

It�s obvious: We either fight them over there, or fight us over here. Since we�re much closer to ourselves, we�ll save billions in travel expenses alone. VRHTPA makes it easy for every American, young or old, to become personally involved in fighting the scourge of terrorism.

In other words, do try this at home.

Copyright � 2008 Mark Drolette. All rights reserved.

Copyright © 1998-2007 Online Journal
Email Online Journal Editor

Top of Page

The Lighter Side
Latest Headlines
Galactic Government
Privatization: The key to the coming solar age
The surrogate Votergate
Homegrown terrorism: Keeping your eye on others isn�t sneaky -- it�s patriotic!
A pre-dawn Christmas morning fish tale: Bashing Bush is more fun than baitin' bass
What if we had a White House press conference that wasn�t a scam (questions i am dying to ask the commander guy)
Making our restrooms safe for democracy
Can only a Dolt love America?
Getting caught with your pants down may be costly
Potter at the trough
Slaves to Christ and compassion unite: Free markets must prevail
Don�t even start calling things Bushian
Poll results reveal contradictions: Who pays for poll may make difference
Political Attention Deficit Disorder, a new psychiatric condition
Democrats demand complete withdrawal from Iran by 2025!
Obscure provisions
Bush adopts �stick and lead carrot� approach on Iran
A �pattern sensor� alert!
What Dick really means . . . Neocon terrorists have ambitions of empire, says Cheney
A television snow job