Online Journal
Front Page 
 Special Reports
 News Media
 Elections & Voting
 Social Security
 Editors' Blog
 Reclaiming America
 The Splendid Failure of Occupation
 The Lighter Side
 The Mailbag
 Online Journal Stores
 Official Merchandise
 Join Mailing List

Commentary Last Updated: Jan 21st, 2008 - 00:49:53

Dear Black Leader, you're fired!
By Min. Paul Scott
Online Journal Guest Writer

Jan 21, 2008, 00:16

Email this article
 Printer friendly page

Dear Black Leader, as the unofficial self-appointed representative of the people whom you are supposed to work for, I have a bit of bad news. As of MLK Day 2008. . . . You're Fired!!!

It's not that we don't appreciate your hard work and dedication in fighting for our civil rights and everything. We know your bio, which you always share with us anytime we ask you what have you done for us, lately. We know about the marches, the demonstrations, the police dogs and the jail stays. But that history is lost on this generation. They are desensitized to the "going to jail thing." My cousin Clyde, the Klepto can do a 10-year bid standing on one hand. As far as the police dogs, Li'1 Tyrone has to deal with stray pitbulls everyday coming home from school. So the tales from the past just don't move black folks like they used to.

Accounting is concerned about the expense account that you've been runnin' up. They say that you have been abusing the company's Bank of Harlem Black Card. Is it really necessary to wear $2,000 Brooks Brothers suits and $1,500 Itallian leather shoes everyday while the people you work for get their clothes from Wal-Mart and Pick and Pay? (Work rule # 1, never out dress the boss.) And how about the first class airline tickets and the 5 star hotels? Also, the board of directors thinks that the $5,000 honorarium that you charge historically Black colleges for 45 minutes of your wisdom is a little excessive. Especially when you are going to ask the strugglin' college kids to break you off $28.99 for your latest hardback after the lecture?

My "peeps" in the street are also tired of seeing you on C-SPAN more than they see you in tha hood, homie. They want you to step your rap game up and come with something a little fresher than a remixed "I Have a Dream" speech, every year. At least Jay Z and his crew can bust a funky freestyle off the top of their heads. And stop criticizing their spinning rims and platinum teeth when you are bling blingin' more than they are. And for the record, they said that they ain't gonna stop using the "n" word as long as you keep referring to Black folks as "minorities" and "colored people." The Boys in the hood want a chance to shine on the cover of Ebony and on the radio, too. My boy, Tre, said that he was in the newspaper one time and his mother said that he looked real good dunkin' the basketball in the Cross City Championship of '95. He once dropped some serious info after the Jena 6 March in the middle of Mr Luther's Barber Shop and got a standing ovation and a free haircut! Brotha's got some real talk for the people but NPR won't interview him.

The interns who have been runnin' around getting your coffee and filing your papers for the last 20 years are getting tired of being passed over for promotions. Word around the breakroom is that they are planning a hostile takeover if changes aren't made soon.

We tried to get your pension straight, but, funny thing, no one in human resources remembers hiring you. It must have happened during the race riots of '69 when the brothas were handlin' their business in the streets. When the smoke cleared all the rest of the brothas were doing long prison sentences but you were at the front of the line to be the first black to integrate Whiteman and Liverpool, Inc.

To find a suitable replacement we have decided to launch our own reality show, "America's Next Black Leader," and we will be going through hoods across America with a camcorder to see who is actually out there feeding the people, fighting the power and doing all of the other things that you preached to us for the last 40 years that we should be doing.

So we thank you for your years of service and we know that you will have no problem finding a new job with your white corporate sponsors.

Best wishes
Min. Paul Scott

Min. Paul Scott's blog is He can be reached at (919) 451-8283 or

Copyright © 1998-2007 Online Journal
Email Online Journal Editor

Top of Page

Latest Headlines
Citizens left holding the bag in the global economy
Defining diplomacy
Has the US defrauded the world�s economies?
Is this the Big One?
Man�s inhumanity to man
Dear Black Leader, you're fired!
The battle for America's soul
Is Hamas saving more Jewish lives than Olmert?
Guantanamo as a symbol
Olmert and Bush, leader and vassal
Dove in one hand, sword in the other
Ahmed Dirie: imprisoned or murdered?
The Federal Reserve needs more than a new communications strategy
Peacemaking and not arm-twisting
Levite be gone: Releasing the Samaritan within
Sandwiched between competing interests
Italy, Italians and Silvio Berlusconi: A case of anything for power
Double standard on divestment
Four types of government operatives: bullies, muggers, sneak thieves, and con men
Bush's visit to the Middle East: triumph of form over substance?