We all know that Britain
has the highest ratio of CCTV cameras to people in the world, but I want to
take a closer look at some stories from within the past two months to see at
what is going on right now.
British bus passengers could soon be forced to use electronic
tags to get onto buses. This fits in with the British
government�s move away from paper checks and toward an electronic system to
be implemented by 2018. The best part of an electronic bus pass is that it will
surely help prevent bus-based terrorism.
Britain is also making sure its schools are safe. Four-year-olds
are being monitored for �radicalization� and 5-year-olds
are being taught sexual education. After all, there is nothing worse than a
sexually naive 5-year-old who is also a terrorist.
British school teachers
have also been given the authority to frisk school children and search their
school bags for drugs without consent, because we know how seriously
British schools have not only been protecting students
against drugs, but they�ve also been protecting them against obesity. Students
in Greater Manchester have been forced to walk to school rather than
getting dropped off by their parents to help keep the students in shape. . . . Better
hustle up, fatties, or we�ll take you away from your mothers! Just kidding,
Britain isn�t only making sure its schools are safe. It�s
making sure everywhere else is safe as well.
A few months ago, Britain
started to put CCTV cameras into the homes of 20,000 �problem families� to
make sure that the families raise their children correctly. This is good for
keeping people safe indoors, but what about outdoors?
Well, luckily, the
government has been going into the homes of willing citizens and placing CCTVs
inside to be trained on the street to keep a watch for �anti-social
What about inside private establishments? Can we make them
as safe as our homes? Well, luckily, now
a pub can be closed down if it doesn�t have �sufficient� CCTV coverage. . .
. And I was afraid I might actually be alone!
Also, if you are ever lonely, don�t worry, because new
CCTV cameras have been outfitted with speakers so they can talk to you. . .
. I want them to tell me how pretty I am!
The best thing about these CCTV cameras is that they�re cost-effective.
In fact, the
top-earning CCTV speeding camera takes in over �420 thousand in fines a year.
No wonder people love them so much.
Of course, CCTV isn�t Britain�s only tool against crime,
pre-crime, and legal drinking. Britain is also still capable of that �personal
touch.� That is why they�ve given 20,000
town hall bureaucrats the power to enter homes without a warrant.
Reasons these bureaucrats can enter include: checking to
make sure a house has an �eco-friendly� refrigerator, making sure a hedge is
not too high, and making sure no �unregulated hypnotism� is taking place. . . .
Regulated hypnotism, of course, is fine.
Cyberspace also got safer when Britain
enlisted telecoms to help them spy on every phone call, email and web search British
citizens make. This makes people safer because naturally now the government
knows what they�re doing.
The information gathered will be available to such important
agencies as local councils, the Financial Services Authority, the ambulance
service, fire authorities and even prison governors. . . . Finally, ambulance
drivers will know what our Google searches have been even if we�re unconscious!
The best news for the police state, however, has been that
the criminal code has expanded. Since
1997, 3,000 criminal offenses have been created, 1,472 of which are
number of people over 50 entering the criminal justice system has also risen by
almost 50 percent in eight years.
Not only has the criminal code expanded, but the people who
have arrest powers has also expanded. In
Norwich, mall cops can now arrest people. . . . Sorry, Grandpa, but now it
looks like you really are going to have to get out of the massage chair.
Despite all these victories, the police state did suffered
one setback during the last two months. Britain was
collecting the names, dates of birth and passport details of every passenger
entering into and exiting from the country well before they got to the airport,
just like any good police state would. But then the EU, which after the
ratification of the Treaty
of Lisbon has authority to overrule member nations� criminal laws,
This truly is a monumental loss. Britain�s tyrannical authority
has been overridden by another tyrannical authority. Why is it always thus to
Don�t worry, Britain. As long as you exist as an independent
country, however long that may be, we
here in America will always have our eyes on you.
all, we want to keep you safe.