In keeping with the
Yuletide spirits of generosity, peace on Earth, and joy to the world, Uncle Sam
O�Claws and the compassionate conservatives keep piling gifts under the
corporate Christmas tree.
While the taxpayers
pinch pennies for presents, the world�s most expensive government continues
filling the world�s largest punch bowl for the world�s principal arms
No sooner has the
snow settled after one arms procurement storm than another strikes.
ex-Secretary of Defense �Frosty the Snowjob� Rumsfeld could not explain �how
his department came to squander nearly $30 billion leasing several hundred new
tanker aircraft that its own experts had decided were not needed.� Then, true
to character, the human smart bomb couldn�t explain why he didn�t know what he didn�t know. Ho ho ho!
seasonally correct, this year�s congressional elves donated $1.4 billion to
purchase 20 of the trouble-ridden F-22 fighter aircraft. They are the most
expensive fighter planes in history and were designed to counter the Soviet air
forces, an enemy that no longer exists. There were no F-22s on the Pentagon�s
Christmas wish list, yet no one will be standing in line to return those
stocking stuffers or ask for a refund!
Conservative? Bah, humbug.
If we truly desire
frugality, maybe we should turn over the reins of government to old St Nick.
After all, as a private citizen, with a low budget, he�s ruled the Christmas
skies for centuries. He puts Nicholsonian Economics to work in his everyday life and routinely achieves
spectacular results without a silly swagger.
highly accountable. He never accepts foreign bribes, he always accomplishes the
mission, and kids are safe around him. He delivers the goods with a low tech
All Weather Sleigh, equipped with an efficient Rudolph 4-Leg propulsion system
guided by standard Red Nose avionics. He even has his own uniform which, to
make it more official, could be adorned with a few ribbons by Mrs. Claus.
However, the beard would have to go.
Speaking of Mrs.
Claus, she has experience keeping the workers in line, out of trouble, and
productive. Furthermore, she does that in a frozen homeland with an abundance
of candy canes everywhere and no concertina wire in sight. All the work is
voluntary, and she doesn�t rely on jackboots, so it�s certainly no gulag.
With a resume like
that she could be the first female president, but that would require an
auction, I mean election, and she�d have to work away from home. She�d also
have to outsource the gingerbread cookies. On the plus side, she�d have a
pension and bennies to burn, courtesy of the tax peons.
There are other
examples to follow, if only we�d muster the will. For instance, we get the word
�magic� because the Magi made do without fancy expensive hardware. They relied
on ordinary Camel Personnel Movers, their common sense and a solitary star to
direct their deployment. And they finished the job.
came bearing gifts, not bombs or grenades or white phosphorous. They didn�t
dispense handouts from the public treasury, they tried to thwart the massacre
of the innocents, and they were Persian. They would have made lousy Congress
lice, but no one�s perfect.
Yeah, I�m aware
that my ideas stand a snowball�s chance in Hades. After all, an innocent babe,
born of poor parents in a shed amongst livestock,
threatened the all-powerful state to such a degree that it thrashed about in a
futile, pathetic, irrational, blind rage slaughtering children. Such a
grotesque monster cannot be reformed, so it will grow like a hideous tumor
until it destroys even itself.
In anticipation, we
celebrate Natalis Solis Invicta and the death of the dark times.
Joy to the world!
Zervas is a wild old snowboarding crank who has observed that most people
have a problem with authority. They trust them too much.