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Commentary Last Updated: Mar 11th, 2011 - 15:30:48

Cap'n Crunch Rumors Fuel New Products From Cereal Maker
David Hope
Mar 11, 2011, 05:42

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Cap�n Crunch, the long time staple of cereal aisle shelves everywhere, isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

For the past several days, the Internet�s been abuzz with rumors that the gruff Cap�n Horatio Magellan Crunch was going to walk the plank because his bosses at Pepsico are trying to lower the amount of sugar and saturated fat in their products. Cap�n Crunch, it seemed, was taking his last voyage.

This was more than the Internet could stand.

�How dare someone tell me I can�t have Cap�n Crunch because of its nutritional value,� one poster huffed. �This is a free country!� That�s right! Can you imagine what the Founding Fathers would have thought of this? Can we get a Constitutional amendment here?

But by midweek, the rumors had miraculously evaporated. Cap�n Crunch was back for good, and just to show what a contemporary guy he is, he opened a twitter account (@RealCapnCrunch) and sent out a stream of reassuring tweets to his 512 followers. The facebook account ( has about 18,000 followers, plus a small yet fanatical minority who are determined to bring back the Cap�n�s long-forgotten buddy, Vanilly Crunch.

Amid all the hysteria, we couldn�t help but wonder if the Cap�n had ever really intended to go away. Imagine our surprise when we visited his official website and found out that he�ll be appearing soon in supermarkets, along with his Peanut Butter and Crunchberry sidekicks, in three limited-edition retro-packaging boxes! And there are six cards to collect�for a limited time only!

Wow. The Cap�n knows how to make some fast merchandising moves. Or maybe, we couldn�t help thinking, he had spread rumors of his imminent departure so his followers would love him even more. (Doesn�t Barbra Streisand do something like this?)

We�ll probably never know whether the kerfuffle was genuine news, an overheated Internet rumor or a stealth marketing campaign�and we�re not judging.

As long as the Cap�n is available to sail across his fans� breakfast bowls, we know they�ll be happy. Because we�d hate to see them upset or anything.

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