Guess what, AOL
subscribers? AOL has just blocked me from sending you any e-mails.
First I got thrown
out of Iraq. Then I got chased down the street by American rent-a-soldiers in
China. And then the editor of my local newspaper told me flat-out that it
hadn't been publishing my stories because its readers mostly think that I
didn't really go to Iraq or China or wherever but simply made all of that stuff
up! And then I watched "The Most Important Video
You'll ever See," wherein some college professor lectured me on the
arithmetical importance of the exponential function in determining that our
population growth, need for oil, inability to discover the same amount of oil
in the next few years that we have used up in the past 100 years, etc., is
dooming the human race to possible extinction within my lifetime. And now I'm
being actually blocked by AOL. Can things possibly get much worse? More than
I just applied to
go on a tour of the White House. And you just KNOW that I'll also get turned
down for that.
My life is in the
dumps. Nobody loves me. I'm doomed. And nobody buys my book, either. I'm going
to go sit on the steps of the capital building in Washington, DC, and starve
myself to death unless the Senate agrees to throw George Bush in jail. I might
as well get SOME results from my misery.
And now I'm being
blocked by AOL. Crap.
So I called up the
AOL guy at 888-212-5537. "WHY is AOL blocking me?" I whined. Am I so
politically radical that they think that I'm a homegrown terrorist or
something? Or is it just Murphy's Law attacking me again. "What's
happening here?" Spill the beans.
just blocking you personally. We are blocking everything that contains the
domain name 'Blogspot.' It isn't just you."
What? AOL has
arbitrarily decided to block one of the largest domain names in the whole
freaking world? Can they DO that? Apparently they can.
they just block my individual blog? Or the Blogspots that contain porno or
something? Do you have to take out the entire blogging world?"
Wow. AOL must
REALLY hate bloggers. But at least they don't hate me personally. Or do they?
What if I am the cause of them deciding to shut down millions and millions of
happy bloggers? Then EVERYONE will hate me instead of AOL. I'm doomed. I'm
going to go off and hide under the bed.
finally ventured to ask, "what if AOL decides to block the CNN domain name
too? Or Reuters? Or Oprah? Could they do that?" Apparently they can. So.
All you AOL subscribers out there, if you don't hear from me ever again, that's
the reason -- either that or because I'm still hiding under the bed.See Jane Stillwater's Web Log for moreof her outside-the-box essays and observations Her new
book is Bring
Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips for Touring Today's Middle