"Expect the best," the cards say. What? I always expect the worst! What can be worse than Bush in the White House, a quagmire in Iraq and Afghanistan, our phones being tapped, our liberties being threatened, Jesus being dissed by war-mongering crackpots hyping The Rapture and our economy on the skids?

What could be worse? Another 9-11.

"I predict," says Madame Jane, with her turban askew and her eyes rolling up in her head, "that another 9-11 is almost upon us. . . ."

Holy crap!

"I predict that America's future can already be seen. Go to Kabul. Go to Baghdad. Go to Beirut. Go to Gaza. . . ."

"Okay. I'm willing to travel. Will you pay for it? Do you see 'Go to Tahiti' in there too?"

Madame Jane continues. "Here you will see the kind of future the neocons specialize in. They have in mind this kind of future for America, too. . . ."

A cold shiver ran down my spine. Really?

"Imagine Lower Manhattan . . . and multiply that by 500."

You don't have to be a fortune-teller to see this. It's a logical progression.

"This is what the neo-cons are good at. . . . Destruction." Madame Jane had spoken.

"Is there any way that we can avoid this fate?" I asked.

"Yes."

Oh goody.

"Bush must be in jail by Christmas. Otherwise I cannot guarantee. . . ." Madame Jane faded out. But with just one more word of advice. "Always expect the best in the future, my friend . . . but also work to make it come true."