Another humid August, a long time ago, and I was working in
my father�s small town drugstore, the last summer before my first year of high
school.
Today, cash registers are as computerized as ATM�s and tell
you everything instantly, from the change owed and the status of inventory to
the date, time and wind chill factor in Upper Volta.
Back then, they were electrically powered at least, but you
still had to do a lot of the calculating in your head, which is why my dad
tended to keep his not-so-mathematically-inclined son in the back of the store,
away from the receipts. With my nimble fingers on the register keys, I was
capable of trying to charge you $1,398.06 for a pack of Camels.
(I wasn�t allowed to sell condoms or razor blades either,
but that wasn�t so much because of my inept and callow youth. They carried a
sales commission and it was thought unseemly for the boss� son to traffic in
something from which the other employees could receive a cash bonus.)
That summer, New York State and my hometown each instituted
a sales tax, a development for which our cash registers were unsuited -- they
couldn�t calculate percentages. So we had a chart, which we�d consult after ringing
up a sale, at which point we�d add on the pennies and nickels of tax and throw
them, separately, into shoeboxes.
Further jumbling this awkward system was the list of what
was or was not taxable, some of which seemed to have been determined by rounds
of darts in Albany, the state capital. Medicine was not taxable. That made
sense. Chewing gum was taxable, unless it was Beeman�s Gum, which was invented
by a doctor and contained pepsin -- medicinally good for the digestion, so not
taxed. Insulin wasn�t taxed either, but the syringes to administer it were.
So, in that spirit of trivial complexity and governmental
randomness, as the Democratic and Republican conventions begin in Denver and
St. Paul, I give you the Honest Leadership and Open Government Act of 2007.
The law, passed in the wake of the Jack Abramoff scandal and
the imprisonment of House members Bob Ney and Duke Cunningham (Ney was released
just this past Monday), has much to recommend it, outlawing gifts from
lobbyists to members of Congress and their staffs. That includes the
extravagant parties that trade associations, law firms, advocacy organizations,
unions and other lobby groups used to throw at the conventions for the most
influential, individual senators and representatives.
At the 2004 Republican National Convention here in New York
City, for example, among hundreds of parties, the American Gas Association
sponsored nine gala events, which included a �Wildcatter�s Ball� for Oklahoma
Senator James Inhofe, then chairman of the Senate Environment and Public Works
Committee. Pepsico gave Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist a reception at the
Metropolitan Museum of Art�s Temple of Dendur, which then cost $60,000 just to
rent for the night. House Speaker Dennis Hastert got a wingding at Tavern on
the Green, bought and paid for by General Motors.
So change is good. The problem is that many of the new law�s
rules are so arcane and convoluted it would take a team of forensic accountants
and Talmudic scholars to properly interpret them. The �toothpick rule,� for
example, bans Congress members and their aides from accepting a free meal, but
they can snarf up as many free hors d�oeuvres as they like -- as long as
they�re standing up and not sitting down. No forks, no chairs and you may be
within the law.
Unless. The St. Paul Pioneer Press reported one party
planner for the Republican convention was told that under the law quesadillas
with cheese qualified as legal finger food but including beef or chicken would
make them an illicit meal. According to last Tuesday�s The New York Times,
�Depending on the circumstances, breakfasts are limited to bagels, rolls and
croissants, while proteins like eggs are prohibited. What is more, rules differ
for events that are deemed to be �widely attended� -- something that has more
than 25 diverse attendees but is not a ballgame or a concert . . .
�Adding to the complexity, state ethics rules also come into
play. If a corporation or trade association has an event where state office
holders are invited, the ethics rules of each of their states must be
followed.�
Whew. All hellishly good-intentioned, perhaps, but while
those so inclined are distracted by the minutia of cheese vs. pepperoni, there
are loopholes in the way the law is interpreted by the House Ethics Committee
through which you can drive a Brink�s truck. A corporation or other lobby group
can no longer celebrate the achievements of one individual congressperson with
a big gala, but an entire delegation can be honored -- as long as no specific
members are named on the invitations or in the programs or during the speeches.
So, US Bank and Visa are hosting a party at the Democratic
convention for the freshman House Democrats. AT&T, which has given $3.2
million to f ederal candidates in this election cycle, and spent millions more
on lobbying, is co-sponsoring a party in Denver for the conservative Blue Dog
Democrats, just one of more than a dozen parties the telecom is throwing at the
two conventions.
In addition, as per the consumer advocacy group Public
Citizen, because of exceptions allowed by the Federal Election Commission,
�Millions of unregulated dollars are being funneled to the national party
conventions through so-called, nonpartisan �host committees.� These committees
claim to be helping Denver and the Twin Cities, but they are really just using
the sizable donations for political purposes.� This tax-deductible, �soft
money� includes the million dollar contributions the Obama campaign has
solicited for the skyboxes at Invesco Field during his acceptance speech.
There will be more than 400 parties and other events at the
Democratic and Republican conventions. Corporations and other special interests
will contribute more than $100 million. That can buy a lot of influence. Just a
few of the others involved: the Nuclear Energy Institute, Allstate, Wachovia,
Union Pacific, ConocoPhillips, Molson-Coors, AstraZeneca, Eli Lilly, Qwest,
Target, Staples, SEIU, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Interviewed by the San
Francisco Chronicle, Nancy Watzman, director of the Sunshine Foundation�s
interactive Party Time Project, which is monitoring convention activity, noted,
�These are all the same people who have a big lobbying presence in D.C., and
they all have major issues before Congress and the executive branch.�
Amanda Burk, a Denver party planner told The New York Times,
�We�re trying to comply with the law and still make sure people get enough to
eat.� Ms. Burk, you�ve got nothing to worry about. Unlike the more than 37
million Americans who live below the poverty level, lobbyists and the fat cats
they represent will never go hungry. Like water inexorably seeking its level,
eroding as it travels, they will find a way.
My dad wouldn�t have let these guys anywhere near his cash
registers.
Michael Winship is senior writer of the weekly
public affairs program, Bill Moyers Journal, which airs Friday night on PBS. Check
local airtimes or comment at The
Moyers Blog.