On Thursday, I received an e-mail from Nancy that included a special note from Al Gore. I call her Nancy, now, because her greeting implies a first-name-basis relationship. For those who weren�t included in the correspondence, this is part of her plea:

Dear Missy,

I wanted to make sure you had an opportunity to see this crucial message from former Vice President Al Gore. I was just with him last weekend in Texas and we both agree how critical November�s elections are to our country�s future.

There are just 3 days left before we hit the DCCC�s 100 Day deadline and we need your help to hit our grassroots goal. As a special incentive, if you contribute today to our 100 Days of Action campaign -- you will be automatically entered to win a chance to be my guest at the Democratic Convention in Denver, August 25-28th.

Enter today to win and help Democrats win big in November. As Al Gore said, Remember: There�s a new world waiting at the other side of these elections.

Best regards,

Speaker Nancy Pelosi

Now that Nancy has made an overture to be my keyboard pal, I�m going to send her the following:

Dear Nancy,

I remember just how critical the November 2006 election was supposed to be to our country�s future. It certainly resulted in your being crowned Madam Speaker, a bestowal of power that must have made you positively orgasmic. (Wasn�t it someone you venerate, war criminal Henry Kissinger, who said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac?) Although my hopes weren�t particularly high, since I�d come to perceive you Dems as Republican groupies, I chose to be optimistic and I was especially pleased that George Bush considered the results of the election a thumpin.�

And you had stated so many times that you would end the war in Iraq. So many times.

Further, Nancy, before your coronation, you said repeatedly that impeachment would be on the table. Repeatedly. And, then, when you were positioned at the table, you removed impeachment. Oh, sure, you�ve dropped a few crumbs lately, but I�ve seen the way you play with Bush. You�re besotted.

Plus, I am struggling with the special incentive in your missive -- a chance to be your guest at the Democratic Convention in Denver if I send a contribution.

Nancy, I won�t succumb to your panhandling. I simply don�t trust you. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Lie and ignore the will of the electorate and, soon, someone with integrity will step forward, challenge you, and win that seat you�ve taken for granted far too long.

Cindy Sheehan for Congress!

Maybe, then, the new world that Al Gore says is waiting at the other side of the elections will yield results necessary to restore the Constitution that you and G. W. Bush have disemboweled so passionately.

Besides, Nancy, being your guest would seem like torture to me. Torture -- something about which you have intimate knowledge.

Peace,

Missy Beattie