My write-in vote for
the presidential election just died and I�m angry as hell about it. My anger
has manifested itself in seven words: shit, piss, fuck, motherfucker,
cocksucker, cunt and tits!!!
Carlin, in one of
most famous comedy routines, cited those seven words as verboten on TV, though
time has changed their acceptability on cable, the stage, fiction, film and daily
life. Yet, they describe how I did feel, how I feel and how I will feel. They
have been my hopes when I lost hope in American politics. They have been my
strength when my hopes were lost. They continue to be my hopes though I know
not for whom.
Carlin�s platform was
written through his years as a preacher on the American stage:
On America: �When
you�re born you get a ticket to a freak show. When you�re born in America you
get a front row seat."
�I used to be Irish
Catholic, now I�m an American. You know, you grow.�
On Bill O�Reilly:
�Inside every cynical person there is a disappointed idealist.�
On war: �Fighting for
peace is like screwing for virginity.�
�Don�t sweat the
petty things. Don�t pet the sweaty things.�
On religion: �I would
not want to be a member of a group whose symbol was to have a guy nailed to two
pieces of wood.�
�Atheism is a
On gay marriage: �I
am� is the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that �I do�
is the longest sentence?�
On church and state:
�I�m completely in favor of the separation of church and State. My idea is that
these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them
together are certain death.�
As to the other
candidates, I love listening to Obama talk of �change." No more lobbyists,
no public funding, no more war. I admire his ephemeral qualities in solving the
world�s ills. There has probably not been a more prolific, eloquent or
emotional presidential candidate on the American scene since Dick Gregory ran
for the job some 40 or so years ago. Americans are no longer looking for
Obama�s rhetoric of �change." Americans are now looking forward to hearing
his definition of the word. My condolences, Barack, your future secretary of
state, your US master strategic planner is no more but, his plan has been
summed up in just seven common everyday words that Condi would blush at.
In an effort to
afford the �other party� equal time we must raise the issue that potential
voters talk about, McCain�s alleged �anger� and �short fuse." McCain
should well have taken anger management lessons from Carlin. Carlin for all his
disagreement with politics, religion, the FCC, censorship and the anti-liberal
(note: not conservative) people in Washington never lost his temper . . . or
his timing . . . when making his point. Sorry, senator, he�s not available as
your consultant or tutor anymore.
There is no question
that if he were still alive and if I helped elect him, President Carlin would
live in the annals of presidential history for his observation of Americans,
�Have you ever noticed if a guy is driving slower than you, he�s an idiot and
if a guy is driving faster than, you he�s a maniac?� That one observation, that
one Zen-like passage would have been a focal point in one of his weekly
fireside joints . . . err . . . chats and would have elevated and maintained
his approval rating to astronomical heights.
Now, he�s gone and
America�s last hope is no more. If he holds true to his word, his tombstone
will read �I�ll be back in a minute� . . . although more realistically his
seven no-no words should be etched in the stone: �shit, piss, fuck, cunt,
cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.� You can�t beat a classic.
Adieu, George Carlin.
We will never forget yee. . . .
PS: Weather Forecast:
Robert Rossi is a globe-trotting executive and amateur
magician, and a cousin to Jerry Mazza, firstname.lastname@example.org.
All comments will be forwarded to him.