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Commentary Last Updated: Oct 12th, 2007 - 00:54:43

Then again, maybe they�re just really slow starters
By Mark Drolette
Online Journal Contributing Writer

Oct 12, 2007, 00:52

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I�ve had this sneaking suspicion lately -- call it a hunch -- that the Democrats perhaps haven�t been all that effective in stemming America�s headlong hurtle toward hell. (I�ve always been intuitive that way. Yes, it�s a gift.)

�Course, if the goal all along has been to actually help send America swirling ever faster down history�s loo, then I stand corrected.

Speaking of stands, check out these boldly decisive responses from Democratic presidential aspirants when asked at a recent New Hampshire debate about bringing all American combat personnel home from Iraq by 2013 (yes: 2013):

John Edwards: �I cannot make that commitment.�

Barack Obama: �I think it�s hard to project four years from now.�

Hillary Clinton: �It is very difficult to know what we�re going to be inheriting.�

Despite such fuzziness, one thing�s for certain: when it comes to demonstrating true leadership, one should never doubt whether the Democrats have it or not.

In fairness, I can sympathize: With sprawling permanent U.S. military bases now blanketing Iraq and an American embassy in Baghdad the size of Pluto, of course they can�t embrace a total troop withdrawal -- �cause it ain�t never, ever gonna happen.

Nor was it ever intended to.

I do realize none of this is news to you, dear informed readers. Democrats, however, obviously are cut from a different cloth (one with a big yellow stripe running down the middle), for, if you believe their profuse prostrate protestations, none of them (save for a notable wee handful) could have seen any of this coming.

Apparently, none of them has:

  • Internet access, for even a cursory glance at the Project for the New American Century Web site would�ve shown that taking out Saddam Hussein and establishing a �substantial American force presence in the [Persian] Gulf� has been the plainly-stated scheme of its founding members -- you know, non-influential types like Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz and Donald Rumsfeld -- for years.
  • Enough of a grasp of the Constitution (R.I.P.) to know that setting fire to the Bill of Rights and ceding Congress� sole power to declare war may not -- ya know, in retrospect -- be in the nation�s best interests.

  • Ever noticed Dick Cheney�s horns, spiked red tail or the strips of shredded baby flesh hanging from his lips.

Forgive me for sounding like a broken record, but anyone who seriously thought the Dems would do anything other than what they�ve done since their �victory� in the 2006 selections either has truly not been paying attention or has (understandably but decidedly) deluded themselves.

For instance, it should shock no one that 29 Democratic senators voted for the saber-rattling, Iran-is-evil Lieberman-Kyl Amendment or that 22 voted to censure �left-wing� Moveon.Org (if they�re left-wing, as Dubya asserts, then I�m a choice candidate for marriage, despite what my three ex-wives say) or that nary a one voted against the July 2006 resolution supporting Israel�s God-given right to commit war crimes in Lebanon or that they�re getting ready to extend the hideously unconstitutional wiretapping bill they unforgivably handed BushCo back in August. (They�re in rare form on this one: it�s a mean feat to roll over twice on the same piece of legislation.)

Because, here�s the down-and-dirty: the Democrats are utterly complicit, they�re in cahoots, they�re on the take, they won�t buck the system because they are the system and their primary role is critical to keeping the whole sickening cycle of planetary pulverizing and profiteering going.

In other words: They�re the beard.

Without them as the �opposition party,� fascism�s fa�ade falls. The Dems� presence lends a patina of legitimacy -- such as it is -- to perpetuate the myth of American democracy amongst those who�ve yet to see it is a long dead duck. (�Tis amazing Americans could remain so oblivious, but with one in three still asserting Hussein was �personally involved� in 9/11, I rue the day I spurned Dad�s advice to go into the blinder business.)

So here�s the plan: vote Republican, right down the line. That way, when no Democrats land in office anywhere, the true fascist nature of America�s government -- wholly controlled as it is by corporations and, by proxy, their right-wing toadies -- will unequivocally be exposed for all to see. Yes, the corrupted Dems are slimy creatures of an amphibious nature, too, but the Repubs are ickier. (Please, no e-mails from salamander lovers. It�s only an article.)

Now, yes, I�m quite aware no U.S. ballots have been counted for years but even so, votes cast for GOP candidates only would pose a delicious dilemma for the oily vote-conversion button pushers. And even if the unanimous results were subsequently challenged by those having a stake in maintaining the two-party charade, we�d simply hold a nationwide town hall meeting and ask all who voted Republican to raise their hands. Surely the ruling corporatists wouldn�t want that sort of uncomfortable, blanket-pulling spectacle to occur -- it would be their worst nightmare come true! (OK, so I may be overstating it a bit.)

Would my plan stop American fascism? Are you kidding?? Of course not! But at least we�d have a more transparent fascism. Plus, we�d not have to listen to the Democrats tell us anymore why they can�t do whatever it is we shouldn�t have to plead with them to do to begin with.

And just think how nice that would be.

Copyright � 2007 Mark Drolette. All rights reserved.

Mark Drolette is a political satirist/commentator who (for now) lives in Sacramento, California. His next book, �Why Costa Rica? Why the hell not?� will also at last be his first. It will be available once it�s finished, published and then made available. You can reach Mark at

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