Christians often accuse liberals of corrupting society with unscrupulous
morality and progressive views on sexuality. Conservative wars without
justification and out-of-control money-grubbing apparently aren�t big concerns.
Most laughably, religious conservatives worry endlessly that gays are planning
to recruit their children.
The funny thing,
it�s Christians that regularly knock on my door to recruit me to their
lifestyle -- from Bible fundamentalists to Jehovah�s Witnesses. Who else does
this sort of thing? I guess politicians who are trolling for votes go door to
door; and realtors and sales people regularly ring strangers� doorbells. That�s
how they make their living.
fundamentalists who �brighten� your threshold are only there to save your soul.
They are supposedly operating out of duty to the word of God; proselytizing
because Jesus, through the Bible, has told them to do so. Meanwhile their
ministers make a healthy living with each new recruit that joins their church
and is wheedled into donating 10 percent of their household income each week. I
know, I know! Some kind proselytizers just told me last week: �The Bible says
to donate 10 percent and the churches need the money to reach more people and
save more souls from the fires of hell.� Pay no attention to the six-bedroom
mansion or the brand-new Cadillac in the minister�s driveway.
Wouldn�t it be
fun if atheists took the time to proselytize? Of course they�re too damn busy
working for the ACLU, pulling God out of every public building while doing
everything in their power to prohibit your local department store employees
from wishing you �a merry Christmas.� Or imagine an Orthodox Jew coming to your
door on a mission to get a yarmulka
on your head. Or picture a
Muslim knock-knock-knocking to tell you that your wife should be wearing a
burqa and veil to cover everything but her eyes.
will argue that as the majority religion in this country that �was founded by
Christian men on Christian values,� they have some sort of right to try to
convert the unwashed masses. The founding fathers may have been God-fearing but
they were far from enthusiastic about Biblical dogma. It�s easy for Christian
fundamentalists to ignore this fact since few of them bother to accept that the
very concept of Biblical literalism that they hold so dear didn�t even exist
before the nineteenth century. Sadly, historical facts are as useless as
science to these folks.
Early last week
three women from Gethsemane Baptist Church rang my bell. Bibles in hand, they
exuded that endearing arrogance that only comes from a certified relationship
with Jesus and an irrevocable guarantee of eternity with God.
�If you die
today, will you go to heaven?� These were the first words spoken to me as I
opened the door.
I had a few
minutes to banter so I expressed my concerns that Bible Christians seemed to be
well-intentioned but it�s my belief that they are sending the wrong message to
their children and to anyone else that subscribes to their point of view. They
were curious but unflappable.
All you need to
do is accept Jesus and you will go to heaven? These Christians used myriad
Bible quotes to support this position. My concern is that this belief does
nothing to influence behavior. Organized religion has its legitimate detractors
but if it has served to keep people from killing each other through fear of
God�s punishment it can�t be all bad. Bible Christians have stripped God of
this power because if you take them at their word, you can do anything you
want, accept Jesus and go directly to heaven.
�So if I accept
Jesus and then kill my neighbor will I still go to heaven?� All three women
looked at each other as if they�d never heard such a question. One of them
scribbled a note in her little crucifix-decorated tablet. �Call police after
lunch.� Just guessing. Finally the ring leader said, �If you accept Jesus, you
would never want to kill anyone.�
Not a bad answer.
But I continued. �So it�s your belief that once I accept Jesus, I am saved and
can never lose my salvation.�
answered yes with much enthusiasm. Then they went through their list of Bible
quotes that reinforce the concept that we are only �saved� because of and
through Jesus. Nothing we do can save us. Our deeds are meaningless. So now
we�re back to my concern that these people are sending the wrong message.
I don�t believe
that the Bible is the infallible word of God. I naively asked them if they were
aware that the Bible they are holding has been translated from Hebrew and
Greek. For almost fifteen hundred years the manuscripts of the New Testament
were hand-copied by scribes who were very human and deeply influenced by the
cultural, political and theological debates that affected their lives.
said that God saw to it that the Bible she was holding was inspired and she
didn�t need to worry about the original texts. She didn�t care about mistakes,
contradictions or intentional changes by scribes, because her minister
convinced her that God�s hand was guiding even the most misguided scribe every
step of the way.
Next I told them
that I didn�t believe in the Bible as literal prose but since they do believe
that way, why were they on my porch defying the word of God. All three had a
look that conveyed, �What is this nut talking about now?� I asked to see a
Bible and found this quote from 1 Corinthians: �Women should be silent during
church meetings. They are not to take part in the discussion for they are
subordinate to men as the Scriptures also declare.�
�But we�re not in
a church meeting,� stated Ring Leader. Foiled again. But I argued that the
essence of the Bible quote is that women shouldn�t try to educate men and that
the key word is �subordinate.� It wasn�t literal enough for them and they
rejected my interpretation.
I dwelled on
Bible quotes that contradict their claim that our deeds don�t matter. I found
many quotes without much effort -- quotes that clearly say that we will be
judged according to our deeds and by how we treat the homeless, the hungry, the
elderly, the lonely, the prisoner. They refused to agree that they had a skewed
view of Jesus� words based on a current fundamentalist interpretation that has
become quite popular in recent years.
I told them that,
in my opinion, their ministers were uniformly schooled to dwell on some Bible
quotes while ignoring other quotes that are clearly contradictory, especially
on the subject of faith versus deeds. I read from the book of James: �It isn�t
enough just to have faith. You must also do good to prove that you have faith.
Faith that doesn�t show itself by good deeds is no faith at all -- it is dead
and useless.� James goes on to say that even the demons in hell believe in God
but they�re in hell because of how they�ve acted.
We spoke for
almost 40 minutes. No minds were changed. No influence felt on either side. I
volunteered some personal information. I told them that I was housebound
because I was basically the sole caregiver for a parent that is currently in
hospice care. They all nodded sympathetically. I realized that although we had
been politely arguing, I had kind of enjoyed their visit. It had distracted me.
Leader seemed especially sympathetic about my housebound status. She promised
that they would be back to see me at the end of the week to talk and deliver
some Christian literature for stressed-out caregivers. �It will change your
life,� she all but guaranteed. After I closed the door they may have talked
amongst themselves and deemed me hopeless. Or maybe during the week, some
important distractions arose for each of them. Life can get unexpectedly busy,
you know. For whatever reason, I was disappointed when they didn�t return as promised.
But then, I thought, why should they keep their promise to return? I
rationalized that it wasn�t really a promise. Besides, deeds are meaningless to
them because, after all, they are