Theocracy Alert

New Orleans is the latest in the 'Plagues of God' series

By Frank Pitz
Online Journal Contributing Writer

Download a .pdf file for printing.
Adobe Acrobat Reader required.
Click here to download a free copy.

September 13, 2005�For those of you, who thought that the destruction of New Orleans was an epic of Biblical proportions, just wait until the release of the next installment in the Plagues of God series titled: �The Quake that Devoured San Francisco.� With stellar staring roles including the Federal Emergency Management Agency, The White House, The Department of Homeland Security, and the United States Congress. Cameo appearances will bring in scores of major and minor Christian religious leaders and their assorted aficionados, with tales of retributive judgment.

If, in the words of certain Christian zealots, New Orleans was a cornucopia of sin, sex, and poor folks worthy of Biblical flooding; San Francisco�that �sodomite� city by the Bay�would be worthy of fire and brimstone ruination � la Sodom and Gomorrah. Hell, theoidiots have been calling for just that for years. What is really bizarre about all this zealous talk of �cleansing� and �God�s destruction� is that more than a few so-called mainstream newspapers are giving over print space to the purveyors of this garbage. But, what the hell, God sells, right?

There�s a guy named Michael Brown�no, not the FEMA chief relieved of Katrina duties�who has a website known as�also referred to as the Catholic Drudge report�who states that �Katrina was definitely a purification for New Orleans.� He goes further and says that the name Katrina means �pure.�

In an interview with a website called Brown stated; �There are few cities with so many good as New Orleans and also few cities where there is such a stark coexistence with the bad. It is this city, the Big Easy, that is home to kind and generous and Christian people . . . and yet also this city has allowed evil to flourish in a way that has become truly dangerous.� Noting the occult practices and the sexual immorality, Brown warned, �When you invoke the dark spirits, you get a storm. The very word hurricane comes from the Indian hurucan for evil spirit.� So these folks called up this storm?

Then we have Hal Lindsey�a well-known author in certain circles whose books primarily reflect the �end times� genre�and his website which states in the masthead: �politically incorrect, prophetically correct.� He has a poll. The poll asks the question, �should New Orleans be rebuilt?� The primary question is comprised of six bullet points for the respondent:

  • What risk? No, it has stood for 300 years. It should be rebuilt.
    (7.25% on that one)
  • Yes. People have a right to return to their homes.
    (15.49% on that one)
  • Yes. What else can we do?
    (11.32% on that one)
  • No. It is too dangerous, even with improved levees.
    (31.47% on that one)
  • No. It is too expensive and just not worth it.
    (25.29% on that one)
  • No. It should be left as an underwater monument to the dead.
    (9.17% on that one)

Obviously Mr. Lindsey�like all good pollsters�selected his bullet point choices for response with his faithful audience in mind. It would appear that�at least as I viewed the poll results�the majority of his respondents go along with certain theocrats espousing the Biblical retribution theme and feel New Orleans deserves to remain underwater. So, if these zealots had their way, there would be no sun rising over New Orleans or a dove flying back to the survivors bearing an olive branch.

It should also be noted here that the ubiquitous polls are manifesting themselves just about everywhere right now, and the consensus seems to be fuck New Orleans; don�t rebuild it, or rebuild it elsewhere. What doesn�t get mentioned though is that when natural disaster strikes those richer enclaves�primarily white�like the outer banks of the East and Gulf coasts; the mudslides, fires, and earthquakes in California, the rush to rebuild in the same unstable area is frenetic. Same situation, why the difference in mindset? It could not just be racial prejudice rearing its ever-present ugly head, could it?

As if the folks in the Big Easy didn�t have it bad enough being dissed by every carpet-bagging Christian Taliban who can get near a microphone or a website�as well as the bureaucrats in DC�they have to contend with their own home grown zealots also. The Reverend Bill Shanks, pastor of New Covenant Fellowship of New Orleans sees God�s mercy in the aftermath of Katrina as �wiping out much of the rampant sin common to the city.� Now, even though Shanks�one presumes�is a God-fearing righteous man and not a sinner, he heeded the warnings of mere mortals and got out of Dodge to stay with friends in the Jackson, Mississippi, area. From a local politician as Biblical purist, we have New Orleans City Council President Oliver Thomas who chimed in with, �Maybe God�s going to cleanse us.�

As sure as night follows day, whenever we are witness to a tragedy�be it major or minor�the zealots crawl out from under their rocks pontificating about God�s punishment for the wicked. I for one am getting damn sick and tired of these idiots equating events such as Katrina with some kind of Biblical justice thing. It�s as if we are supposed to be stuck in the book of Genesis somewhere�come to think of it, most of those nuts are. If not Genesis then Leviticus, or some such bullshit chapter and verse from the supposed �good book.� That �good book� has been responsible for more death destruction and hypocrisy, than any hurricane or tsunami in history.

And while we are on the subject of evil and sin, what about the draconian, immoral policies of that monkey-boy sitting in the White House? George Bush and his gang have caused as much grief, death and destruction as any natural disaster. Does that mean he is sitting at the right hand of God and �cleansing� sinners? According to the logic of the Christian Taliban the poor, minorities, women, children, who are uninsured, unemployed, homeless and hungry must all be sinners�right?

Let�s think about this, at least 1.35 million children are homeless in this country, 42 percent of them are under the age of six. What big sin did they commit to be homeless and hungry? Can the psycho-Christian folks like Barbara Bush or her son answer that for me? Poverty in these United States has increased for the fourth straight year, 12.7 percent of the population are now below the �official� poverty level, that�s a heck of a lot of sinners, according to the judgment of the Christian Taliban.

So, we can mount a crusade against supposed non-believers in far away lands, killing hundreds of thousands, along with a couple thousand of are own young men and women, but that is viewed as righteous. But when thousands of people�and a hell of a lot of children�die in this country as a direct result of the policies of a rich frat boy and his minions, it�s God�s work directed against sinners.

I�m certainly confused here, but then I�ve always been dazed by this selective interpretation of so-called Godly judgment. It�s time for God�whatever the hell that is�to start smacking a few of these self-righteous bigots about, perhaps some sense could be imparted. If there is a God, it�s time for him or her to get a grip and get in here with the whips and start running the money changers and hypocrites out of this temple known as the United States of America. It is after all, a great country in spite of the assholes that are seemingly in charge.

Frank Pitz pontificates�on all things major and minor�from his little spot of heaven in the Mojave Desert in Southwestern Nevada. You can email him at

The views expressed herein are the writers' own and do not necessarily reflect those of Online Journal.
Copyright © 1998-2005 Online Journal. All rights reserved.