Federal witness protection program: The future home of George W. Bush?
By Jane Stillwater
Journal Contributing Writer
Jun 8, 2006, 00:34
My friend Leona told me that she thought she saw Jimmy
Hoffa in Missouri recently. "Maybe he's still alive." It could
happen. Maybe the feds put him in a witness protection program.
I bet that's what's going to finally happen to George W.
Bush. We will get a tastefully sorrowful announcement on CNN that
America's 42nd president [sic] has quietly passed away in his sleep. Then this
sad event will be followed by a fancy state funeral. And then they will
quietly whisk our George off to play gin rummy with Osama bin Laden
You think I'm joking? I'm not.
I bet you anything that when the special prosecutors start
fitting GWB for an orange jump suit, he's gonna wimp out, pull
out some wax dummy look-alike to get buried in Arlington and
then join a witness protection program overseen by Alberto Gonzales.
George, I understand. When Americans finally wake up and
discover the millions of ways that you have screwed them, playing drop-the-soap
with Jeff Skilling and Kenny-Boy Lay is going to be one of the milder options
available to you. What are some others? Death row comes to mind. Or being run
out of town on a rail. Tar and feathering? Hey, I'm non-violent. And I would
HATE to see you get lynched.
I just have one favor to ask, Mr. Gonzales. PLEASE don't
put Bush in a witness protection program in California! Send him to Texas.
Stillwater's Web Log for more of
her outside-the-box essays and observations.
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