Mocha Revolution in New York!
By Frank Scott
Online Journal Contributing Writer
Jul 27, 2009, 00:12
New York prep school students at the prestigious K. Wiford
Ditzworthy Academy rose up in what they called a Mocha Revolution after a
planned luncheon was canceled by a delivery service which decided they weren�t
�Our workers are facing layoffs while these rich kids have
caviar and crepes delivered to their schools, and they demand we lower our
But student leader W. Rutledge Goldworthy claimed that there
was intense disrespect shown for the students by �these uneducated lower class
workers who often make their deliveries without curtsying to our female
classmates. We�re all feminists here and won�t stand for our girls being dissed
by these low lives, most of whom speak a foreign language which isn�t even French.�
At a hastily called press conference, a pretty student
spokesperson said, �We�re not going to stand for this. We�re very serious. We
won�t tolerate disrespect from workers, teachers or our parents. We do not
speak in declarative sentences. We are rich and you are all assholes. This
press conference is over.�
A reporter for Woman�s Wear Weakly expressed shock at the
student�s performance. �Her Arpeggio Dilettante shoes were lovely, and the mink
lined chador was a nice bow to the Iranian rebels, though the ear rings were a
knock off and not really Gustave del Buttonna originals, but except for some
coffee stains on her sleeve, I saw no mocha at all . . . did you? This can�t be
a �mocha� revolution!�
When asked to clarify this serious political point, student
W. Bennington Crassworthy said, �We originally wanted to call it a Cappuccino
revolution, but that really isn�t, like, a color, so we took Mocha, which is,
like, one of our favorite drinks and really is a nice sort of, like, off shade
of brown or tan which some of our fashion team really liked.�
School Principal B. Geoffrey Twitworthy said that this could
all be related to the recession stress, the closing of several high fashion
boutiques in the area, and cutbacks on student trips to the Bahamas, Tibet and
other exotic locales. But he added, �We do expect an economic upsurge for
neighborhood psychologists, at least, from the increase in family therapy
visits this crisis is likely to create.�
Still, after some parents have grounded their children,
threatened to cut off allowances, close trust funds and imposed a curfew, the
�Mocha Revolution� ( U.S. Trademark, pat. pending) goes on, with defiant
students taking to their roofs and penthouses chanting �money is great� and
�death to the caterers.�
After months of wrangling, wheeling, dealing and then some
more wrangling, Congress and the president have bowed to citizen demand and
created a single-payer health care system for the USA. Under the new system,
every single person in the USA will pay for his or her health care, choosing
between private, public, religious or secret insurance agencies which will
guarantee that in return for premiums, monthly, weekly and deductible fees, all
Americans will be able to buy health care. Every single one of them.
�We saw the pollssss that showed a great majority of our
people wanted to be able to pay sssssingly, and we bowed to those demandssssss�
sssaid the presssident.
Peace rules! Nearly $2
billion cut from military budget!
Peace movement, antiwar and other completely forgotten
sources of criticism for previous administrations were rejoicing over a cut in
one Pentagon program which took nearly 2 billion dollars out of a more than 600
billion dollar military budget.
�We knew that if we persevered by not making any public
criticism, not organizing any demonstrations against war, and accepting the
humanitarian notion that there are smart and winnable wars as opposed to stupid
and losable ones, we would get this administration to come around to our way of
thinking and cut the military budget by almost.003%� said a spokesperson for
the Weakness Over Unity coalition.
The group, elated over its great victory, has promised to
confront global poverty next, vowing to create a free lunch kitchen for the
starving and hungry millions who are being affected by the current global
recession. At this rate of progress, the coalition of groups declared that all
wars and all poverty should be gone by, maybe, the year 2525.
Copyright � 2009 Frank Scott. All rights reserved.
Frank Scott writes political commentary which
appears in the Coastal Post, The Independent Monitor and on his shared blog at legalienate.blogspot.com.
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