A �pattern sensor� alert!
By Kerry Tomasi
Online Journal Contributing Writer
Mar 15, 2007, 01:08
As a certified
pattern sensor, I�ve detected a certain pattern involving the Bush
administration and the corporate media. It appears to be Rovian in nature, which
means it�s complex and can be difficult to detect, unless you�ve been trained
to detect such things, as I have.
Here�s my five-step
report on the pattern as it developed, and my prediction on where it might
1. First, lower the
bar of voter expectations for the Republican candidate in �08. Begin touting as
the frontrunners a variety of inherently flawed candidates (those who could
potentially win either the primary or the general election, but not both).
Romney, Guiliani, Brownback and McCain fit this bill perfectly. Then throw in
Newt Gingrich just to be safe.
2. Next find a
potential scapegoat to carry away all the �bad vibes� Bush and the Republicans
have generated in the minds of the voting public over the past six years. And
who has the unique ability to handle such an enormous burden? Dick Cheney. Here�s
a guy who has approval ratings in the low teens and doesn�t care, who�s already
acknowledged as being the dark side of the �otherwise good and godly� Bush
administration, and who could easily be accused of having misled our �otherwise
good and godly� leader, and his sycophantic supporters in Congress, into making
a few bad decisions. Yes, Deadeye Dick could play the part, and play it well. I
wouldn�t be surprised if it�s a part he�s been rehearsing for some time now.
3. Put the �scapegoat
plan� into play (which is where we�re at now). Have the corporate media begin
subtly attacking Dick Cheney (timing of Libby verdict fortuitous) as an
albatross around the neck of the president and the Republican Party. Keep in
mind this is Dick Cheney they�re referring to. This is a guy who regularly �hunts�
small captive birds with the CEOs of the corporations who own the news programs
doing the reporting. Cheney need only mumble a word or two of dissatisfaction
between shots, and those journalists and/or reporters would have their careers
crushed instantly! They would never work for CNN, MSNBC, CBS, NBC, ABC, Clear
Channel, the Sinclair Group, Associated Press, USA Today, or any other
corporate outlet or newspaper ever again! They might even find it difficult to
get work with any of the fake or comedic news programs like The Daily Show,
Colbert Report, or Fox News. So when you hear any of these corporate
correspondents suggesting, or even hinting, that Dick Cheney should step down,
you know something is up.
4. After Cheney
resigns, Bush then appoints to the vice presidency the next �president of the
United States.� This will be someone who will appear to be �just right� to the
voters, especially when measured against those flawed �frontrunners� trotted
out in step one.
And what might
happen if Bush�s choice does not appear to be garnering enough of the �just
right� support in time to win the �08 election? Well . . .
5. �OH MY GOD, IT�S
A TERRORIST ATTACK!!! PLEASE SAVE US, MR. PRESIDENT!!�
response to this latest attack on our nation�s freedom, I�ve authorized
Homeland Security, under the direction of the vice president, to assume control
of all federal, state, and local governments. I�ve also ordered federal troops
to begin patrolling our nation�s streets, with instructions to arrest and
detain any and all suspicious looking characters. I�ve taken these steps to
protect our nation, and our freedoms, from these freedom-hating evildoers!
Because you�re either with freedom or against us, and those who are against us
hate freedom! In other words, they are anti-freedom! Our freedom and liberty
must be protected at all cost, which is why I�ve also ordered the postponement
of the 2008 election indefinitely, or until the threat of terrorism has passed,
whichever comes first.�
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