How you can learn to stop worrying and love the bomb
By Bev Conover
Journal Contributing Writer
Oct 13, 2006, 01:19
Hey, there is money to be made here. Big bucks for
enterprising entrepreneurs. And we're not talking just duct tape and plastic
sheeting. No siree!
Why the moribund bomb shelter industry can be revived.
Think about that. Someone has to build those underground
bunkers. Then they have to be stocked with food, first aid kits, medicines.
They will need air and water filtration systems, generators, fuel to run them
and a waste disposal system, not to mention furnishings, blankets, pillows,
sheets and so on. And don't forget the Geiger counters. Beer is good, too, and
maybe some wine and hard stuff for the bunker parties.
This could be bigger than the home security industry that
popped up and flourished after all the scares about crime. This goes beyond
five locks on each door and alarm systems to keep home invaders and burglars
out. It may be bigger than the billions of your money Washington spends on
Bush's "war on terror" to hassle you at airports, listen in on your
phone calls, read your emails and snoop through your library records.
Kids can once again have nightmares about nuclear war. That
is sure to give another boost to Big Pharma in stuffing them with anti-anxiety
What a boost for the economy! For Wall Street, this will be
a bigger ride than the dot-com boom.
Of course, the West coast will be toast if George W.
succeeds in goading Kim Jong-il to lob some of his lovelies this way -- once he
figures out how to make them work -- but, as Madeleine Albright would say,
"We think the price is worth it."
And while the world above you glows or burns, as the case
may be, you will be snug in your shelters, hoisting a few maybe not so cold
ones, munching on chips and watching reruns of "Survivor" or NFL
games on your DVD players, secure in the knowledge that when you emerge all
that money you made will be awaiting you in offshore banks.
On the other hand, if one or more of the other nuke powers
get into the act, you will be toast too, but that's life, eh? At least the End-timers
will be thrilled that they have achieved Armageddon as their cinders are
Raptured (not exactly the way they envisioned going, but that's how the
survivors, if any, when it's safe to go outside again, if ever (if not, there
won't be survivors for long, but that's another story), can make more money
from repairing the damage. Ya gotta love that bomb!
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