The Lighter Side
Y'all come to the Busheviks' Fear Fest
By Bev Conover
Online Journal Editor & Publisher


Sep 6, 2006, 01:24

Yes, George and Dick and Don and Karl are rounding up the party favors for the mother of all Fear Fests, which will run from Sept. 11 through Nov. 7 (and maybe a bit longer if the vote isn't fixed their way).

What we have seen and heard so far is just the warm-up for the fun to come. You know, those hilarious speeches about us being the fascists, terrorist sympathizers (Bush is really over the edge if he thinks we sympathize with him and his criminal gang), defeatists, ad nauseum.

There will be a lot of flag-waving and prayers. Must not forget the prayers -- especially the ones that ask the deity to smite all us fascists, terrorist sympathizers, defeatists, godless liberals and whatnots. Maybe some witch-burning and stoning, too.

Jews, beware or you may end up at the stake with the rest of us evildoers. After all a new book, The Architect: Karl Rove and the Master Plan for Absolute Power, according to RAW STORY, alleges George told a reporter that when he got to Israel he was going to tell Jews "they're all going to hell." Israel couldn't have a better friend, right? Then all George needs Israel for is to play its assigned Book of Revelation role in bringing Armageddon on. But we're getting ahead of ourselves . . .

George and Dick and Don and Karl will regale us with how evil Osama, at the urging of Saddam, sent 19 goons, armed with box cutters, to hijack commercial airliners and fly them into buildings, as ABC-TV's propaganda docudrama, blaming Bill Clinton for 9-11, fills our television screens. (Whoa, was Clinton in cahoots with Osama and Saddam? The Busheviks can't have it both ways, can they?)

Yes, George has gotten the Osama doll out of the box . . . cave . . . undisclosed location and dressed him up as a combination of Hitler and Stalin. Scary, huh?

Condi will do her "mushroom cloud" act, with George and Dick and Don and Karl singing, "If we don't fight them over there, we'll have to fight them here, doop, doop." (Too bad we're heading into autumn or they could sing and dance to Mel Brooks' lilting "Springtime for Hitler.")

There also will be continuous showings of al-CIAduh's latest hit: The Jewish Adam Pearlman again playing Muslim Adam Gadahn, this time inviting (warning?) "all Americans and unbelievers" to convert to Islam. Hmm . . . the "or else" seems to be missing.

Are you shivering yet? Do you feel icy fingers running up and down your spine? No?

Would a guest appearance by Sen. Conrad Burns (R-Mont.), doing a reprise of his faceless terrorists who "drive taxi cabs in the daytime and kill at night," raise your fear level, give you goose bumps? How about make you clamor for ID cards, DNA sampling, random strip searches and travel permits (all to keep you safe from "terrorists")?

Hey, you never know. The Busheviks have warned us repeatedly about brown skin guys who doff their "head towels" and shave their beards. Yup, they are lurking everywhere just waiting to pounce with their liquid bombs (oops, shouldn't have used the B word) and penis pumps.

But getting back to the entertainment, since the 9-11 replay is only good for a few weeks, by October, if George is lucky, Saddam's latest show trial could declare a recess in order to treat us to his beheading, hanging, shooting or however they choose to kill him. The trial, of course, will resume in his absence.

If things are still going badly for the Busheviks and the Republicans as Halloween rolls around, Dick and Don will set off some real fireworks. Maybe a shock and awe number on Iran and/or Syria. And who knows what Dracula Dick, to the glee of George, will unleash Conrad's cab-driving terrorists to do to freak out Americans.