Commentary
Are conservatives born that way?
By Nick Paccione
Online Journal Contributing Writer


Aug 9, 2007, 00:44

I am fascinated by the idea that most conservatives and many Americans believe that liberals are wimps. Ann Coulter’s infantile “faggot” remark about John Edwards is rooted in the idea. And poll after poll illustrates America’s opinion that conservatives are better equipped at fighting terrorism and keeping America safe because they’re just tougher.

There may be truth in the notion that conservatives are tougher but there is irony in the idea. Conservatives' tough “cowboy ways” are at the root of the reason that we need protection from terrorists in light of the hornet’s nest that their misguided policies have stirred up in the Middle East. No matter, it’s plain to see that “wimpy” and “frightened” are far more appropriate terms in describing conservatives.

Led by George W Bush, conservatives have dismantled our constitution, labor laws, environmental protection and necessary social programs. Every move they make is rooted in unbridled childlike fear. They’re afraid, or so they say, that if we don’t fight terrorists in an arbitrary place like Iraq then they’ll come and get us over here. They’re afraid that immigrants will somehow pollute American culture (whatever that means). They’re afraid that science will challenge their rabid religious dogmatism. They are terrified by gays, ambiguity, new experiences and basic progress.

How many conservative politicians spent their lifelong careers fighting against emancipation, integration, equal rights, or any other idea that might lead to social justice? Why? Fear of change. Fear of progress. Fear of people who look or think differently from them. Fear for the sake of fear.

Thanks to biblical influences and general pessimism, conservatives usually view the world as an evil place. Christian conservatives are fond of saying, “I’m in this world but not of this world.” They believe that religion as the basis of their morality is the only tool that’s acceptable to fight the world’s evil tendencies. They are most susceptible to severe anxiety when there is any uncertainty on the horizon, including dissent, ambiguity or social change of any kind.

They are compelled to live inside the box that thinkers are encouraged to think outside of. Inside the box -- inside the lines -- everything has its place. The world is very tidy and orderly. This is most evident with conservatives who adhere to fanatical religious dogmatism. “Accept Jesus and you are saved for eternity and no one can take that away from you.” It also rears its ugly head in the form of jingoism, militarism and patriotism. To them it’s a black and white fact that the United States is the greatest country in the world. If you point out that we need to wake up because we are falling behind in education, science, economics and social justice, you’re just unpatriotic.

Republican puppeteers manipulate fear to their advantage during every election cycle. “Liberals will enable another terrorist attack.” “Liberals will let all the Willie Hortons out of jail to rape and murder.” “Liberals will raise your taxes to help the less fortunate.” “Liberals will ban Christmas and prohibit bedtime prayers in your home.” “Liberals will brainwash your children and force them to adhere to the evil gay agenda.”

You can count on the Democrats to counter with the lamest responses to any of this, most notably when talking about gun control. It’s inevitable that some clueless advisor will put the “John Kerryesque candidate” in an orange hunting vest to assure the gun crowd that he is actually a hunter and “he cherishes his right to keep his beloved hunting rifle.” Conservatives inherently know that this is a dead end for liberals and Democrats. It isn’t about hunting. It’s about fear. Right below the surface in the conservative psyche, their love affair with the gun is rooted in a fantasy that some swarthy intruder will break down their trailer door in the middle of the night, “and gall darn it,” they’ll be ready to kill to protect their cowering family.

Democrats live with the continuing misconception that if they don’t act like hunters, or support war authorization, or condone spying on American citizens (see this last week’s pathetic vote on the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act), that they will be labeled wimps. They can’t accept that their fear is second tier. They can’t match conservative fear, so why not surprise everyone and stand up for something that they actually believe in?

Speaking of hunting, if Dick Cheney wasn’t a bona fide wimp why would he need to hunt quail? Added to that, he participates in “canned hunts” on ranches that raise these birds, where it's easier to hit them than a friend’s face at close range.

And when it comes to fear, where were Cheney and Bush after the September 11 attacks? Cheney spent several days in a series of "secure, undisclosed locations." That phrase was used so frequently in media reports on Cheney’s whereabouts that it became a punch line for late-night television comics. From day to day, only a handful of senior White House officials knew where Cheney would be hiding. Bush flew west to Barksdale Air Force Base in Shreveport, Louisiana, then to Offutt Air Force Base near Omaha, Nebraska. Many conservatives laughed at Saddam’s cowardice when he allegedly was found hiding in a hole in the ground on the outskirts of Tikrit. You say Tikrit. I say Shreveport and Omaha. Potato, potahta? Tomato, tomatah?

"President Bush made an initial mistake," presidential historian Robert Dallek told Susan Page of USA Today, regarding Bush’s hiding game. "The president's place is back in Washington." Cheney defended their game of hide and seek a few months later. "That's crap," said Cheney. "This is not about appeasing the press or being the macho guy who is going to face down danger.”

Really? These are frightened wimps that think nothing of sending your family members to die in Iraq for reasons that have never been honestly explained. But when they feel threatened, well that’s not the time to be a “macho guy who is going to face down danger.” Just run and hide like frightened school children.

True conservatives cannot be changed. It’s unclear whether they are born with their panicky, wimpy attitude or if it’s a result of exposure to a dominant frightened parent. Some say that their fear is deeply rooted in a traumatic episode that may have taken place during their potty training. Does it matter? Just know that they’re afraid, very afraid. So when a conservative comes at you with their name calling and the venom of a bloated bully with names like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity or Bill O’Reilly -- think of how frightened they are inside. Be kind. If they start whining about your lack of patriotism and you need to get them out of your face just, yell, “boo” or better yet, try to make them look at their own shadow.